WILDER IN REAL LIFE: The First Place

By Lauren Wilder

A year ago, I was sitting at home planning my move to Chicago.  All I could think about was that I was finally entering adult life.  Well, a year later I’m still working on that part.

As you read this I’m looking around a concrete room with pastel walls strewn with notebooks, clothes, and cords; I am packing up and moving to my own place… my first place.  Well my first place after college.  Yes, this is the real McCoy where I’ll actually be one of those 20-somethings I remember as kid who proclaimed themselves “broke and fabulous.”

I’ll go ahead and say that I’m scared to the point where my stomach is in knots.  Many times my friends have had to calm me down, but don’t worry I wasn’t hyperventilating.

Right now I have many fears like whether my roommates will be responsible or even respectful, will I lose my job, will I be safe, and even who will check on me?

Then again it feels like going off to college again.  I have been up all night because I’m just anxious and now I’m piling a bunch of emotions in the mix.  You would think that moving to Chicago would have scared me, but when I think about it I had somewhere to go and people I already knew.

If things don’t “work out” then I’m in a lease for the next year.  Man, I really hope this works

3 days after the move

I didn’t realize how big of a step I was taking.  It’s been so long since I’ve really been on my own.  I have to get used to sounds, smells, surroundings, and people.  Honesty, I feel a bit overwhelmed.  I just got off the phone with a friend and I could tell she is excited for me.  She was armed with questions of my emotion and enthusiasms.  I didn’t want to answer them because I really didn’t want to think about the answers.  All I want to do is just get used to being in a new place with a laundry list of things to constantly think about.

I didn’t want to finish this installment today because I felt like I was dreaming and that I would wake up. It’s a happy yet bizarre one.  It feels like going home after graduating school and all I ask myself “Now, what?”

I know the answer.  I’m starting my life, but I think you kind of start over every day and some days have bigger changes than the last.

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