By: Angela Harper
Walk the halls of elementary school and you’ll lose count of how many times a teacher says, “No pushing!” Nobody likes to be pushed; it’s not a good feeling. Throughout this journey of life we hit road blocks and other unpredictable obstacles. Some of us have the ability to be transparent about our setbacks and can easily express those feelings. Others of us are the opposite. We don’t open up to express the feelings or even share our stories about things we’ve experienced; or so it seems.
I am one of those people and I happen to know people who are like me. To outsiders we’re cold, closed off, and emotionally distant. What they don’t know is that we are the exact opposite; it’s just we are selective about who we open up to, when we do it, where we do it, and how we do it. Yet, we are constantly being pushed to open up! Others want us to talk to them and confide in them. They want us to have these emotional breakdown moments or purge ourselves. Push. Push. Push. STOP!
Chances are when you push you will be pushed back. People like me push back by closing up. The more others nag us to open up to them, the more we retreat into ourselves or ignore the nagging. Either way we’re not going to open up to the person pushing us. Oh, you want to know how to get us to open up? The answer is simply this: stop pushing.
Were you expecting something more profound? It truly is that simple. Ask us our opinion of something; chances are we’ll come full circle and relate it to us. Don’t put us in the spotlight or catch us off guards. Don’t nag, don’t pry, don’t push; instead sit beside us and be quiet…we’ll talk.
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