When the Blue is Sucked out of the Sky

 

Thoughts on Depression

By Rev. Diannia Baty

Depression is so prevalent right now that I thought it would be a good idea to share my thoughts on it. It affects every area of your life and make no mistake; it also affects every single person you are in contact with. I have been there and it is an awful space to be in. I am sharing my view and experience so you can see another way to deal with this. This way is through God, prayer, meditation and the power of thoughts.

There are very few people who have not experienced this emotional roller coaster at some point in their lives. In one form or another from the mild to the extreme, this dark force will visit like a vampire in the dark and slowly suck your life force dry.  For me, just the memory of that time is enough to make me break out into a sweat. I never want to experience it again.

I remember getting no joy or peace. Nothing gave me even a tiny morsel of freedom from the prison of my thoughts. The finest food was nothing. I ate only to stay alive. Food was like cardboard to me. Hunger became a thing of the past. I did not want to eat. I could not be tempted by my favorites. Lobster is a rare delicacy for me. I love it. If a plate full of steaming lobster with drawn butter had been placed in front of me, it would have meant nothing. It would have only depressed me further because I would know that at one time it made me happy to indulge myself. I couldn’t concentrate to read or watch a television program. Opening my eyes to face another day filed me with dread because when I looked at the sky, I could see no beautiful blue color. I could only see another day to drag myself through.

Trying to describe how I felt was difficult. It was like being in a nightmare of lifelessness. I felt totally empty inside. I did contemplate doing myself in so I could escape the pain of being alive in this black state. I just wanted it to end.

I do understand this feeling of never ending despair. I felt that I was being unfairly punished by some cosmic entity. I was being delivered the punch line with no joke attached.

I hated being around people because it was such a monumental effort to interact with the “ Normals. ” I resented them for being able to be normal because I was anything but. I   knew if I heard one more time to just snap out of it, I would hurt someone. I could feel someone’s discomfort and frustration when they were around me. The worst part of all of this was the fact that I could pinpoint no reason for me to feel this way.

I know there are different forms of depression caused by many things but the bottom line is it feels the same to anyone suffering from it. You are not flawed or crazy if you suffer from this. Many suffer in silence telling no one but it is something you can’t hide and it causes problems for anyone who is around you.

I have a few suggestions for anyone who is suffering through this.

Get Help! Please don’t think you can just make it go away on it’s own. If you ignore it many times it gets much worse.

  1. If medication is needed take it and don’t suddenly stop it. Ask for a mood elevator to take in the interim while waiting for the other medication to take hold. Why more physicians don’t prescribe this tiny little pill is beyond me. For me it was a life saver. Within thirty minutes after swallowing this, the lights came on and I felt NORMAL.
  2. Journal…Journal…Journal. Writing about you feelings will help you to focus.
  3. Pray, Pray, Pray. Pray as often as you can. God doesn’t care if you make sense but is always listening.
  4. Eat, even if you don’t want to. Get something in your stomach or you will get weak and sick.
  5. Get outside in the sunshine and fresh air. Your brain needs light.
  6. Do not neglect personal hygiene. It will only make you feel worse.
  7. Watch only uplifting movies and listen to music every day…soothing music is best. Limit the media.
  8. Force yourself to do something positive every single day, no matter how small.
  9. Meditate! There are many guided meditation cd’s available. All you have to do is close your eyes and listen.

Well, in closing it is imperative that you not ignore this and do everything you can to help yourself. There are books galore on this subject so educate yourself.

After a while I was able to come back and the sky turned blue once more. The joy and peace flooded in and I am okay. Even though this was a long time ago, I never want to go through it again. There is a light at the end of the tunnel and it is not the train coming at you. God will help you to bring back the color in your life but you must help yourself first.

to contact…go to…  www.makeachoicenow.com

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