Drug addiction was one of many addictions.  My first addiction was love.  No matter what the cost, if my attention fixated on one particular man, I would do anything to make him love me.  I look back now, and can’t believe the crap I accepted from the men in my life, thinking, hoping, praying, wishing that they loved me.  More importantly, I have compassion for myself with the understanding that at that time, I didn’t love me, or think that I was worthy of love.  The men in my life mirrored back to me exactly the way I felt about myself.  They showed up as my angels clothed in the form of my deepest wounds.

Excerpt from soon to be released “She Lives” This wasn’t the first time Mark put his hands on me in a violent way.  I’ll never forget when he spent the night at my house verbally and physically abusing me.  He tried to ram my head into a concrete wall.  I was able to escape his grasp and run down the street to the telephone booth to call the police.  I ran past a few guys coming outside of a store, and I said to them “please help me, my boyfriend is beating me up”, and one of the guys looked at me and said, “a man has a right to do what he wants with is woman”.  Even then, I couldn’t believe it.   I made it to the telephone booth and dialed 911, but Mark came up behind me and slammed the phone down before I could talk to the dispatcher.  I fought him off and picked up the phone and dialed again.  He slammed the phone down again.  So, I gave up.  He took me by the hand to lead me back to my apartment, but before we got there, five police cars surrounded us.  They had traced the call I had tried to make.  They jumped out of their cars and asked if I was the one who made the call.  I told them yes, and that I was having a problem with my boyfriend.  This one police woman looked me straight in the eye and said “did he hit you”?  Mark looked like a deer in headlights.  He was scared shitless.  I averted my eyes from the policewoman, and said, “No, he did not hit me”. So, I would go and get high, blow all my money and then sleep with a stranger for drugs.  I would tell myself it served him right for being such a jerk, but of course, the real reason was, it paid for my drugs when I was out of money.  But I was also trying to make myself feel better about being so powerless and out of control.  I was hurting so badly, and felt so rejected and abandoned, I thought if I slept with someone else, even though drugs was one of the payoffs, it would somehow hurt this man that held my distorted attention in every waking moment, and who one minute gave me his heart, and the next, would leave me, abandoned, beaten and broken again.

Domestic violence was a huge part of my life growing up.  The way things were handled in my family, in particular with my siblings, were with violence.  I saw family members with black eyes and bloody noses one day, and cuddled up with the spouse that did it the next. I thought this was love.  I thought this was how it was done in relationships.  I thought the way you responded to a disagreement was with rage, screaming and hitting.  So, I lived that pattern out in my own life.  I attracted men in my life, where we were perfect mirrors for each other’s sorrow, rage and ignorance.

Healing is possible.  It’s a long road from such a depth of low self-worth to self-love, and there are days when you might feel like you can never have anything better, because the scars are so deep, and the patterns are so etched in your consciousness.  You might feel like giving up, but don’t. Keep on growing, keep going, you’ll make it.  In quoting another amazing woman, Hillary Clinton in her 2008 democratic speech, she says “By following the example of a brave New Yorker , a woman who risked her life to shepherd slaves along the Underground Railroad.   And on that path to freedom, Harriett Tubman had one piece of advice.  If you hear the dogs, keep going.  If you see the torches in the woods, keep going.  If they’re shouting after you, keep going.  Don’t ever stop. Keep going. If you want a taste of freedom, keep going.”

So, I say to you, no matter what anyone tries to tell you, or what your own habitual negative thinking is telling you, you are worthy, you are deserving of an amazing, loving, healthy life.  The road will seem dark and endless, but your life is right down that road.  Don’t give up on yourself before the miracle happens.  You’re worth it. I’ll be your testimony, until you can be your own.

Peace to you beloved,

Ester

Maybe, you didn’t catch on to it, but I have a problem with comparing myself to other people.  Recently, I was questioned about my greatness.  No,  really someone asked me, “What makes you so great?”  It was thrown in my face that my bank account wasn’t plentiful and that i didn’t have some impressive career.   If this had been a year or even a few months ago I would’ve been in tears.  All I could think was, ‘Is this person seriously asking me this?’  I was also deemed an “wannabe” writer.

You know something?  I laughed.  I can perform a Google search on my blog and it shows up.  If you type in my name you’ll find articles.   I have the privilege of sharing my life lessons and experiences with you all every month with open arms from the editorial staff.  No, I’m not at some major nationally circulated print publication.  I’m perfectly happy where I am with my writing.  I can do exactly what and when I want.  If I feel the urge to pitch stories around the city then I do it.  Don’t get me wrong it’s great to be connected with fellow writers in “higher” places.  Right now, if someone cannot connect me to a publisher owner chances are I won’t land a job.   It’s a game of nepotism and more than who you know, it’s what’s their rank?  I’m not in college anymore hoping to get to talk to an editor who usually gave me advice and never spoke to them again.  Then I needed it and to this day I truly appreciated it because I’ve learned that I must make my own way.

As for my bank account?  Money never has or never will make me.

My professional career?  I do a variety of jobs to make it and works.  Writing is something that I do that makes me feel good, but it isn’t who I am.

So what is it that makes Lauren Wilder aka Wilder in Real Life so great?   I could sit here and market myself to you, but if you have to ask go ahead and shoot me an email.  No, seriously.

It’s taken me a long time to get to the point where I can say, “I love you, Lauren, with all my heart.”  Since I’ve gotten here I can let things roll off more of course I get upset and disappointed.  Then I have to remind myself others don’t define me, I do.  I’m sharing this with you all as not a tangent, an epiphany, or some ego trip.  I’m sharing this because if you’re not to the point where you don’t let the material things, career, and aesthetics define you…then something is coming to shake everything.

There’s a poem called “Ego Tripping (there may be a reason why” by Nikki Giovanni;  I try to remain humble, but man does this poem make me smile.
I was born in the congo
I walked to the fertile crescent and built
the sphinx
I designed a pyramid so tough that a star
that only glows every one hundred years falls
into the center giving divine perfect light
I am bad

I sat on the throne
drinking nectar with allah
I got hot and sent an ice age to europe
to cool my thirst
My oldest daughter is nefertiti
the tears from my birth pains
created the nile
I am a beautiful woman

I gazed on the forest and burned
out the sahara desert
with a packet of goat’s meat
and a change of clothes
I crossed it in two hours
I am a gazelle so swift
so swift you can’t catch me

For a birthday present when he was three
I gave my son hannibal an elephant
He gave me rome for mother’s day
My strength flows ever on

My son noah built new/ark and
I stood proudly at the helm
as we sailed on a soft summer day
I turned myself into myself and was
jesus
men intone my loving name
All praises All praises
I am the one who would save

I sowed diamonds in my back yard
My bowels deliver uranium
the filings from my fingernails are
semi-precious jewels
On a trip north
I caught a cold and blew
My nose giving oil to the arab world
I am so hip even my errors are correct
I sailed west to reach east and had to round off
the earth as I went
The hair from my head thinned and gold was laid
across three continents

I am so perfect so divine so ethereal so surreal
I cannot be comprehended except by my permission

I mean…I…can fly
like a bird in the sky…

What’s Wilder up to?

Walk the halls of elementary school and you’ll lose count of how many times a teacher says, “No pushing!” Nobody likes to be pushed; it’s not a good feeling. Throughout this journey of life we hit road blocks and other unpredictable obstacles. Some of us have the ability to be transparent about our setbacks and can easily express those feelings. Others of us are the opposite. We don’t open up to express the feelings or even share our stories about things we’ve experienced; or so it seems.

I am one of those people and I happen to know people who are like me. To outsiders we’re cold, closed off,  and emotionally distant. What they don’t know is that we are the exact opposite; it’s just we are selective about who we open up to, when we do it, where we do it, and how we do it. Yet, we are constantly being pushed to open up! Others want us to talk to them and confide in them. They want us to have these emotional breakdown moments or purge ourselves. Push. Push. Push. STOP!

Chances are when you push you will be pushed back. People like me push back by closing up. The more others nag us to open up to them, the more we retreat into ourselves or ignore the nagging. Either way we’re not going to open up to the person pushing us. Oh, you want to know how to get us to open up? The answer is simply this: stop pushing.

Were you expecting something more profound? It truly is that simple. Ask us our opinion of something; chances are we’ll come full circle and relate it to us. Don’t put us in the spotlight or catch us off guards. Don’t nag, don’t pry, don’t push; instead sit beside us and be quiet…we’ll talk.

By Lisa Thomas,

Hurry up already, What’s taking so long?!?

When I’m standing in a room full of professional  and business women speaking on this subject, I often say, ” you know….. “patience” …..my fellow leaders,      really is a virtue!!!”

Read on!

I’d gotten a live pot of tulips for mother’s day last year and they were absolutely gorgeous.  Because I love plants and seeing their growth, I was excited that I would have a chance to experience tulips for a bit longer than just this one time.  So I watched them grow taller and taller week by week.

One day I decided it was time to re- pot their beauty so they could grow even larger. Soon after being transferred the tulips slowly wilted and died…no more beautiful tulips!

But for me there was hope.

Having a green thumb, I thought no problem, I’ll just see what happens if I water the soil for a while. Surely tulips will reappear again. Now, I knew nothing about tulips, but I did know that if I water a soiled seed; in this case a bulb, something would soon grow.

So I began watering the soil as I did my other plants, watching every month or so to see if something would reappear. I’d longed to see the multicolored tulips like before, but after several months I saw nothing.  In fact, one day it looked like the dirt was turning a moldy gray color.

Would I ever see the tulips?

I began to worry after about 7 months. Had I killed it by moving and disturbing the soil too soon? Had I over watered it? I was plagued with thoughts of how I must’ve done something wrong!

I should’ve seen something by now.  My other plants had grown so much since this one entered the family.  But in spite of my worries, I chalked it all up and still watered the soil.

Another month passed and nothing.  Frustration had now begun to set in. I mean all this work and no plant, just moldy dirt. I couldn’t take it anymore so I finally went to the store and bought a small tiny plant that I admired and place it on top of the soil. I had to have something to deal with my mind about this watered soil not producing my beautiful flowers when“I” had expected.

Sometimes we’re like that about other things in life, right?  We get impatient with ourselves and others because we don’t see the results we’ve been longing for “when” we want them.  In fact, in some cases we stop dead in our tracks, because we’re working real hard or so we think and there’s no harvest that we can physically see.  It doesn’t come fast enough so we quit. Little do we know the harvest is about to take shape. It is germinating, finding it’s way to the universe; the physical world for all to see.  Rather than wait, we “kill it” right there at that critical point when things are about to break through.

I deliberately put the small plant on top of the soil I’d been watering to trick and train my mind into thinking my works were not in vain.

After a month of training my brain,  I removed the small plant and there I saw something peek through the soil. It was the beginning of life; it had forced it’s way to the surface.  It took 9 months of constant watering, nurturing and caring for the soil to see something come through – 9 months!!!!…Sort of like birth. It takes 9 months to birth a child. The baby is conceived which we cannot physically see but the process and system of creating life is happening. It’s happening  “inside the mother” so that life can emerge fully equipped for the world after the 9 month period has passed.

How many times have you started to venture into something new and just before things pop, you get mad and quit?

Many of my clients who are successful business women and executives find themselves in this predicament time and time again. There’s something they want to achieve but have never done, and they want it so bad they can taste it. The problem lies in wanting it right now or on their time line. But sometimes a big harvest doesn’t come right away.

The system and time line for growth is an unknown factor, yet they operate like they know how long it takes.

Most of the time, we under estimate the manifestation time line and we lose faith in our abilities to produce. Small milestones are necessary to trick the brain into “knowing” you can and will produce.  Les Brown once said, “we don’t truly know our potential because we aim too low and make it rather than aim too high and miss”. I believe you should and can aim high, however set milestones that help you see the results.  Let’s face it the world wants results and so do you. Set yourself up to win.

I didn’t know a lot about tulips, but I knew that a watered seed in the right soil that’s cared for in a systematic way would produce a harvest. I also knew that depending on the plant, the time line could be a month or several months to fully come into physical existence.

If you ever find yourself wanting to give up and give in, wait a while and stay the course. Nurture your soul as I did by training your brain that there are results being produced.  Give yourself a break and acknowledge things are just delayed by your time line but not by the time line of growth.  After all, with a big goal, you aren’t always certain how long it really takes anyway, but you do know consistency produces. Enjoy the journey and watch the riches of life manifest!!!

Lisa Thomas provides Life Coaching for Women. Her mission is empowering women worldwide. She is a Expert Success and Leadership Coach, host of The P3 Power Boost Radio Show and Visionary for Women. Lisa has been featured on NBC, Fox 8 News and various radio shows around the country.

Contact her directly for your Private P3 Power Session where you will begin the journey of discovery. It will be the best 60 minutes of your life. Remember, power, passion and purpose begins with the spirit of who you are.

For a private P3 Power Session, media inquiries, speaking engagements and free life changing videos, visit http://www.theP3Group.com

“When we are born we come into the world fully equipped with nothing lacking, nothing missing; it is only our thoughts, our feelings and our emotions that drive us into thinking that we are inadequate”…..Lisa Thomas

I didn’t make it home for the 2010 holiday season. Naturally, I was pretty bummed then I had a pretty sweet Christmas and peaceful New Year’s Eve.

I’m glad it’s 2011 because I’ve looked back on previous posts, diary entries, and revisited (entirely too often) past feelings of hurt and frustration, I was getting a little pathetic. I intend to leave everything good and bad in last year. I really did take away a lot and realized that I need to just let go, I deserve it. With that said, I’m taking this year to move forward and focus on things that make me happy.

My life isn’t about entertaining people even though I’m glad you do read my sometimes “Debbie Downer” life lessons. If I have issues with something it’s up to me to change it.

I’ll be home for Valentine’s Day weekend. The husband of one of my closest friends is throwing a huge birthday party for her. It’ll be wonderful to come home for a celebration of a person who radiates so much joy. Not too mention it’s the perfect holiday to go home in a cheesy sort of way. I’m not big on Valentine’s Day not because of my singledom, but the commercialization of love. This year it has a bit of depth (just the coincidence of it all) because I’ll get to see my family and be amongst friends who know me well.

I’m glad to say that I’ve gotten over this lonely streak; it’s simply a part of life. If I continue to do things that I enjoy and pull the reins for my happiness then everything else will fall into place. No one ever told me I would be alone, but I was always told to find my happiness and love. All of the wonderful things in life start within.

Don’t be so quick to throw away each other…Don’t be so quick to disrespect and hurt one another. Think about what you are teaching each other. Think about what we are teaching the children. If a flood swept through your area, you would be reaching out to any hand that was extended without a thought as to whose hand it was. If you needed a heart transplant you would not turn it down because it came from a white person, black person or a Catholic, Pentecostal or Baptist person. You would not ask if the person was tall or short, fat or thin, or a man or woman.

I repeat, we all need each other now more than back in the pioneer days. If you don’t believe this, then look again at your face book page and your e-mail list and your directory of phone numbers.

www.makeachoicenow.com

My first cousin Carolyn is not on the earth physically any longer.  I remember a crisp fall day walking in the woods together talking about life and how much we loved each other.  That was the day she told me about her breast cancer diagnosis. We were six months apart in age and I would take regular trips to North Carolina to visit her.

I finally ended up moving here just over five miles away from her and I am so glad I did that. I loved being with her. She was my best friend in every way that word can be said. She was always there for me and never judged me…she just loved me and I loved her.

On this particular day I fried chicken and cooked all the trimmings for a Sunday dinner complete with mashed potatoes. Carolyn loved my cooking and I was only too happy to cook for her. It was a great southern meal with all the trimmings. I have so many memories of her. We loved to go on road trips together and sing, talk and listen to music and basically act like two teenagers together. Thrift store shopping and garage sales were adventures to find the ultimate buy of the day. Most of all we just loved being together and we talked on the phone every single day with few exceptions.

The bottom line is cancer took her away from us and she suffered terribly. I miss her laughter and her funny sneezes. I miss our conversations and her hugs. I miss all of it with a fierceness that takes my breath away sometimes. She has been gone for a few years now and I bring her back in my memories frequently. She had a very hard life and a hard death and now her suffering is over. I told her often how much I loved her and I wonder if she knew just how much I did? She was a fine person, honest and sweet and very giving…too giving sometimes but that was just the way she was.

When she knew that she was not going to be the victor in the cancer battle she asked me why God did this to her and I told her God did not do this. I reminded her that God was always there and told her about the light and how beautiful it would be where she was going. It seemed to bring her some peace.

I can feel her very close today. I wish she was here so I could cook some of her favorite things for her and hear her laugh again but for now I will have to listen with my heart.

The one thing that brings me more peace than anything is knowing that only her physical body is gone but she isn’t and never will be.

I am reminded that to love is to risk loss. I ask myself the question if I would have passed up loving anyone I have lost in this life so I could bypass the pain of loss and the answer is a firm NO. Each time I have loved and lost, it was totally worth it no matter the circumstances.

Dying is the easy part. Living is the hard part. We have it backwards when we think that dying is hard and living is easy. Carolyn was a person to admire and had more friends then she even knew she had. She impacted so many people an she never had a clue. She downplayed everything she did by saying that she was just doing what was right and centered in God.

I know she lives on in spirit and someday I will be with her where she is today and I am always with her in my heart. I will not defile her memory by remaining sad and full of grief. I will honor her in every way I can by being happy and joyful. And by doing what is right and staying centered in God. This is just something to think about.

The Power of Closure by Lisa Thomas
©Copyright 2010..

The Power of Closure is important and critical when you’re creating a new. They say “out with the old and in with the new”, but what happens when you don’t say goodbye to the old?

In reflecting on the close of 2010 while embracing the newness of 2011, I asked myself how to bring a complete close to a wonderful year so that I can begin painting on a clean canvas for 2011? It is a great question for everyone finishing up something old and preparing for something new.

Can you imagine trying to paint a new picture on an old used canvas? Often we do that when we make New Year’s resolutions. The resolutions from 2010 are still lingering – incomplete and unfulfilled, yet we try to start new ones as though they will magically manifest.

Every three years I do a deep introspective, but this year something seemed different. We’re about to embark on the year 2011 and I thought wow, for me this is the beginning of a new decade.  Others began last year, but for me it begins this year.

So, in my deep retrospect this time around, I reviewed my 10 year list. I had accomplished a lot and felt some enormous successes, met some incredible people and had many exciting times.  I’d also been met with some of life’s greatest challenges, let some people go in the process and felt some of the most disappointing and saddest of times. But more importantly, within the last 10 years, I found my purpose and my voice.

I felt the intense desire to include what I’ve called the “P3 Cleanse” in my process of closure.  Most hear the word cleanse and immediately think detox. Yes, to some degree it is a detox. However, cleansing for me is all about mind, body, spirit. It is indeed a spiritual, emotional and physical cleanse. I start with all things informing my intellect of information to distract my cause.   I cleanse my body of those things which conflict with the pureness of healthy living and I mentally cleanse all self imposing thoughts that plague my ability to achieve the greatness I deserve.

I’d engaged in this triple cleanse last year and this year I was ready to take it to another level.  I usually give myself three months to bring closure to all that has happened good or bad. I believe that to fully open up to the process of closure, there is preparation and a good P3 cleanse system provides that opening.

The P3 Cleansing system includes the following steps:

Step 1. Stop watching TV and engaging in other information technology to cleanse your mind and spirit.  You will have to encourage your family to support your efforts by including them in your cleansing process or asking them to respect your process by allowing you to fully implement your cleanse system.

Step 2. Remove all self imposing thoughts and comments from others who plague your ability to think clearly to promote cleansing of your emotions.  This means you will deliberately “stop” all negative, limited thinking. To succeed, you should journal your thoughts and issue a cancellation notice to your mind. The cancellation notice forces you to acknowledge the self imposing thoughts as such. So, the cancellation notice is an imperative part of the system.

Step 3. Eliminate all foods that do not foster energy, good health and vibrant living to cleanse your physical body. First research and exercise a good detox program so you begin your food eliminations with ease. After the detox, usually 7 to 10 days, simply notice your energy levels and keep a journal of all foods consumed. Eliminate those that seem to slow you down or zap your energy.

I suggest you do this for three months. However, you can implement the cleansing system at any time. Cleansing the mind, body, and spirit opens you up to new found energy, problem solving, thought process and effective decision making.

All occurrences have emotions attached to them whether we choose to process them at the time they happen or push them back to process later. To go forward effectively and embrace the future, we have to completely process them all.  And because you’re now in the space of answering three sets of very pointed questions, you can fully and completely navigate through the closure process:

What do I really want?
Where am I unbalanced?
What are my happiest moments in life?
Where is my heart pulling me?
In what direction do I know within my soul am I being led or pulled?
Where am I agitated in life?
Where am I fulfilled?
Where am I unfulfilled?

I follow those with the big questions:

Why am I unfulfilled?
Why am I agitated?
What elements make up the happiest moments in my life?

And lastly, four important and paramount questions come to mind:

What responsibility do I play in it?
What, if anything, am I willing or going to do about it?
How can I make my life line up with what I want it to be?
How do I put myself in the driver’s seat of my own life?

Most of us make New Year’s resolutions without first bringing closure to what has happened. Often we decide we want a different result without first identifying old habits and cycles that continue to lead to our demise.  When we fail to produce, we can easily become cynical and resigned to simply settling for whatever we can get.

I think it’s critical to honor and acknowledge the following:

What have I accomplished and what have I not accomplished?
What is my honest assessment of my accomplishment pros and cons?
How do I make improvements and adjustments for the future?

As you answer these questions, please be cautioned that guilt may arise. Make sure you are in a place to embrace the answers and to become empowered by them. Feelings of guilt or chastisement do not bring closure but, rather deepening in-completion. It is also critical to acknowledge in authentic truth what you will change and what you are not yet willing to change. Also, what you can and cannot commit to; really owning the whole enchilada.

Keep the process going until you feel whole inside and a sense of completion. When you feel a sense of completion, you are settled and at peace in your state of mind and being.

This closure process cleanses out all of the impurities of your life. It brings about the truest most authentic you and creates a clean slate to work from. When you finally make a decision to have something in your life for the New Year, you actually do it with integrity and power attached to it rather than adding it to a pile of words that never manifest. Cleansing actually starts to wipe away all of the old paint and gives rise to a new canvas ready for a new creation.

I am excited about what the days of 2011 will bring now after the closure process is complete. I’ve vowed to make closure a part of everyday living. The daily question becomes “what masterpiece will I create today?”.

Let’s create the absolute best year ever, shall we?

Lisa Thomas provides Life Coaching For Women. Her mission is empowering women worldwide.

Lisa is a Expert Success and Leadership Support Coach, Visionary for Women and  Inspirational Speaker. Featured on NBC’s My Carolina Today , Charlotte Today, World Puja Network, Dr. Pat Show and Conscious Talk Radio. For more information about navigating through the closure process contact Lisa at 910 221 9294 or 704 909 7663. Visit the website at http://www.TheP3Group.com

The towels…By Lisa Thomas

In September 1994, it was a warm day filled with happy and joyous moments. I was wearing a carefully designed tailor made gown; one I had envisioned in my mind and had finally put to paper. I’d previously gathered my thoughts and gave my vision to a seamstress and she made magic happen. That day is a day I’ll never forget. I walked down an aisle with my father on my arm, wearing the gown I’d designed, surrounded by many friends and family to give up my life as a single woman to a man I’d grown to love.

It was my wedding day. After the vowels were exchanged, the first dance, the wild honeymoon and the settling in, I finally opened our wedding gifts. Out of so many there was a huge box that I vividly remember opening. The box was labeled “for Lisa and her new husband”. Inside were 4 set of towels. I thought how beautiful..

Even in this moment, I can barely type this message. The tears are forming in my eyes…Please forgive me as I pause…..

The towels were white in a sealed clear bag –

Thank you for letting me share this story. I hope to be able to get through this with the message loud and clear. This clearly is not the edited version….

The towels were white with a satin heart in the middle, located in the center at the bottom half of the towel. Embroidered were blue and pink flowers surrounding the heart also embroidered in satin. In the middle of the heart bared a scripted “T” for Thomas..….
There were other towels with just the emblem itself …

I guess there were designed as a set to use and a set to display..

The towels are from my great aunt who passed away in 1998….At our wedding, there were satin pillows especially made to represent my grandmothers who had long passed. My grandmothers made a great impression on me and I know I am who I am because of them. In their honor, I had the pillows made so they would be represented. They’ve all made their transition but I still think of them often and the impact they’ve had on my life….

My great aunt, my grandmother’s sister was the last of my mother’s immediate maternal linage..…Needless to say, the other day when I was unpacking some boxes, I saw the towels…I still have the towels in their original bag. I hadn’t opened them. I wasn’t sure why I hadn’t open them, but I hadn’t….

My aunt was like that. When she got something special she wouldn’t use it. The funny thing is I’ve grown to use everything I buy, “EXCEPT” these towels..

My husband finally said, “I think your aunt would want you to use those towels. They really match our new bathroom”. For some reason, I still had reservation. I couldn’t let go. I heard what he said, but I just couldn’t bring myself to open that bag.

Then I leaned back on our bathroom counter, looked at the bag of towels and took a moment to think of why it was such a great task to rip that bag open. After some forethought, I knew exactly why.

The towels represented my maternal linage, the strength of women I’d loved. I just knew if I opened it, the newness, the presence of all of my ancestors would leave me. I just knew that if I open that bag, I would lose precious moments with them that I’d savored. I would lose the sound of their laughter. I would lose the tone of their voices. I would lose the image of their faces.

I could confirm that a part of them was in me when I saw that bag. A big part of me was in that bag. I could reach inside and get their energy to help me press on to be all of who I am…I knew I couldn’t open that bag unless I was ready to let go and release yet another great part of me into the world. A part of them had been driving me, propelling me forward but if I open that bag it would be ME driving me..They could live in me, however “I” would be the driver……So, I asked myself, “could I drive me freely?”

So, today, I’m opening the bag. The towels are still as white as they were when she gave them to me. I’m present to all of them. My mother, my grandmother, my great aunt, my great grandmother and all that they bought to my life. I ‘m honored knowing that they are the reason, I am who I am. And they will never ever leave my spirit….

This was another great day, of letting go and Letting God… A day to enjoy the towels giving from a part of my heritage, a great part of my past that created a wonderful moment in the present – 15 years later….

Thank you for letting me share this special moment with you. Find your bag and open it, whether it’s a past relationship, past hurt, past heartache, past disappointment, or just your past as a whole…let’s all let go and let God and the universe live in us..
Lisa Thomas is The President and CEO of The Power, Passion and Purpose Group, a Vision and Leadership Support Coach, Visionary for Women and Inspirational Speaker. Please contact her at 910 221 9294 or 704 909 7663. Visit the website at http://www.TheP3Group.com.

Feel free to contact her directly for your P3 Power Session where you will begin the journey of discovery. It will be the best 60 minutes of your life. Remember, power, purpose and vision begins within the spirit of who you are.

A few Christmases ago, I decided to give a truly unique gift to my Dad. I enlarged a few of my favorite photos (ones which I had taken), found a really unique frame and created a one-of-a-kind gift.

On Christmas Day, I was so excited when my Dad opened it. Then my heart fell. He said, “Oh,” carefully put it down and proceeded to get all excited about the next gift he received: a men’s grooming kit. He was especially excited by the nose hair clippers.

While my father didn’t appreciate my gift but I didn’t let it dampen my enthusiasm for photography. His lack of appreciation didn’t lessen the love and the spirit in which I gave the gift. If he didn’t appreciate it, I would.

I thought about that incident the other night when I was thinking about gifts. Not so much presents, but the gifts that each and every one of us have. Some of us have a knack for numbers, or a passion for fashion, or an ear for music. Others are gifted teachers, counselors or engineers. We all have something to contribute.

What a shame it is when we put that gift aside. What a waste. Imagine all of the wonderful things we are missing out on because people don’t use their gifts. Imagine all of the joy we deny ourselves when we put aside that which only we can offer.

There are several reasons why we don’t go with our gifts.

Gifts aren’t effortless. They do require some effort and some dedication. A gifted dancer still has to master the basic steps. A photographer still has to learn about composition and lenses and the workings of the camera.

Gifts aren’t all-or-nothing propositions. You don’t have to quit your day job. There are other ways to let your talents shine. Volunteer. Become a mentor. Make it into a hobby. Do it part-time.

Give your gifts a chance. Experience them. Express them. Allow yourself to feel the joy that comes when you allow your special talents to shine through.

Karyn L. Beach is a success coach and corporate trainer who publishes the Lose the Excuses newsletter and blog.