By Lisa Thomas

It was a spring like day when I sat down with Ester Nicholson. I found her particularly fascinating because of her big gentle spirit and heart. Somehow I knew I’d discover more pearls of wisdom within Ester than I could imagine so I was thrilled to hear her story.

And I was right. Ester has graced the stage with many icons, like Rod Stewart, Bette Midler, Beyonce and others. She’s appeared on Oprah, Ellen Degeneres, The View, and The Tonight Show.

She’s no stranger to the music world. She comes from a family of songbirds. Her brothers and sisters have sang with great gospel legends, like Swan Silvertones ,  Highway QC and Shirley Ceaser.

Ester was born singing.  She even spoke of singing as the “trees” listened as her audience when she just a little girl.  Music is in her soul and it has taken her many places.
However, I wouldn’t say Ester’s life has always been an easy one though. She accounts her days as a drug user and the addiction of that.

She speaks of Domestic Violence and losing her ability to sing after not singing for a very long time. I love what she describes about her past. She shares how her past was necessary. It was the preparation she needed to open her mind and heart to see a higher and greater purpose for her life.  Wow! How wonderful it is to see your greatness and how it developed from past experiences.

You’ll hear her describe the very day things took a turn that led her to 25 years of sobriety. She offers an understanding of how “being ready” to align “yourself” with the universe brings about unimaginable results.

She has accomplished a lot and experienced most dream of, yet her journey continues.

Ester has transformed from being a recording artist and performer into the larger purpose for which she was born – to offer practical steps to wholeness regardless of what your experience has been. She travels across the country facilitating workshops, speaking and creating inspirational music.

I can’t think of a better voice for freedom than Ester Nicholson. Sit back and enjoy my girl talk with her. Bring a pen and pad. You’ll find valuable gems for life in her story!

Lisa Thomas provides Life Coaching For Women. Her mission is empowering women worldwide.

Lisa  is the President and CEO of The P3 Group, Inc, Vision and Leadership Support Coach and Visionary for Women. Featured on NBC’s My Carolina Today, Charlotte Today, World Puja Network, Dr. Pat Show and Conscious Talk Radio. For more information about this segment or a 60 min Power Session, contact Lisa at 910 221 9294 or 704 909 7663. Visit the website at http://www.TheP3Group.com.

For media inquiries or speaking engagements, contact Annika Murray at 678 807 9486.

Drug addiction was one of many addictions.  My first addiction was love.  No matter what the cost, if my attention fixated on one particular man, I would do anything to make him love me.  I look back now, and can’t believe the crap I accepted from the men in my life, thinking, hoping, praying, wishing that they loved me.  More importantly, I have compassion for myself with the understanding that at that time, I didn’t love me, or think that I was worthy of love.  The men in my life mirrored back to me exactly the way I felt about myself.  They showed up as my angels clothed in the form of my deepest wounds.

Excerpt from soon to be released “She Lives” This wasn’t the first time Mark put his hands on me in a violent way.  I’ll never forget when he spent the night at my house verbally and physically abusing me.  He tried to ram my head into a concrete wall.  I was able to escape his grasp and run down the street to the telephone booth to call the police.  I ran past a few guys coming outside of a store, and I said to them “please help me, my boyfriend is beating me up”, and one of the guys looked at me and said, “a man has a right to do what he wants with is woman”.  Even then, I couldn’t believe it.   I made it to the telephone booth and dialed 911, but Mark came up behind me and slammed the phone down before I could talk to the dispatcher.  I fought him off and picked up the phone and dialed again.  He slammed the phone down again.  So, I gave up.  He took me by the hand to lead me back to my apartment, but before we got there, five police cars surrounded us.  They had traced the call I had tried to make.  They jumped out of their cars and asked if I was the one who made the call.  I told them yes, and that I was having a problem with my boyfriend.  This one police woman looked me straight in the eye and said “did he hit you”?  Mark looked like a deer in headlights.  He was scared shitless.  I averted my eyes from the policewoman, and said, “No, he did not hit me”. So, I would go and get high, blow all my money and then sleep with a stranger for drugs.  I would tell myself it served him right for being such a jerk, but of course, the real reason was, it paid for my drugs when I was out of money.  But I was also trying to make myself feel better about being so powerless and out of control.  I was hurting so badly, and felt so rejected and abandoned, I thought if I slept with someone else, even though drugs was one of the payoffs, it would somehow hurt this man that held my distorted attention in every waking moment, and who one minute gave me his heart, and the next, would leave me, abandoned, beaten and broken again.

Domestic violence was a huge part of my life growing up.  The way things were handled in my family, in particular with my siblings, were with violence.  I saw family members with black eyes and bloody noses one day, and cuddled up with the spouse that did it the next. I thought this was love.  I thought this was how it was done in relationships.  I thought the way you responded to a disagreement was with rage, screaming and hitting.  So, I lived that pattern out in my own life.  I attracted men in my life, where we were perfect mirrors for each other’s sorrow, rage and ignorance.

Healing is possible.  It’s a long road from such a depth of low self-worth to self-love, and there are days when you might feel like you can never have anything better, because the scars are so deep, and the patterns are so etched in your consciousness.  You might feel like giving up, but don’t. Keep on growing, keep going, you’ll make it.  In quoting another amazing woman, Hillary Clinton in her 2008 democratic speech, she says “By following the example of a brave New Yorker , a woman who risked her life to shepherd slaves along the Underground Railroad.   And on that path to freedom, Harriett Tubman had one piece of advice.  If you hear the dogs, keep going.  If you see the torches in the woods, keep going.  If they’re shouting after you, keep going.  Don’t ever stop. Keep going. If you want a taste of freedom, keep going.”

So, I say to you, no matter what anyone tries to tell you, or what your own habitual negative thinking is telling you, you are worthy, you are deserving of an amazing, loving, healthy life.  The road will seem dark and endless, but your life is right down that road.  Don’t give up on yourself before the miracle happens.  You’re worth it. I’ll be your testimony, until you can be your own.

Peace to you beloved,

Ester

Maybe, you didn’t catch on to it, but I have a problem with comparing myself to other people.  Recently, I was questioned about my greatness.  No,  really someone asked me, “What makes you so great?”  It was thrown in my face that my bank account wasn’t plentiful and that i didn’t have some impressive career.   If this had been a year or even a few months ago I would’ve been in tears.  All I could think was, ‘Is this person seriously asking me this?’  I was also deemed an “wannabe” writer.

You know something?  I laughed.  I can perform a Google search on my blog and it shows up.  If you type in my name you’ll find articles.   I have the privilege of sharing my life lessons and experiences with you all every month with open arms from the editorial staff.  No, I’m not at some major nationally circulated print publication.  I’m perfectly happy where I am with my writing.  I can do exactly what and when I want.  If I feel the urge to pitch stories around the city then I do it.  Don’t get me wrong it’s great to be connected with fellow writers in “higher” places.  Right now, if someone cannot connect me to a publisher owner chances are I won’t land a job.   It’s a game of nepotism and more than who you know, it’s what’s their rank?  I’m not in college anymore hoping to get to talk to an editor who usually gave me advice and never spoke to them again.  Then I needed it and to this day I truly appreciated it because I’ve learned that I must make my own way.

As for my bank account?  Money never has or never will make me.

My professional career?  I do a variety of jobs to make it and works.  Writing is something that I do that makes me feel good, but it isn’t who I am.

So what is it that makes Lauren Wilder aka Wilder in Real Life so great?   I could sit here and market myself to you, but if you have to ask go ahead and shoot me an email.  No, seriously.

It’s taken me a long time to get to the point where I can say, “I love you, Lauren, with all my heart.”  Since I’ve gotten here I can let things roll off more of course I get upset and disappointed.  Then I have to remind myself others don’t define me, I do.  I’m sharing this with you all as not a tangent, an epiphany, or some ego trip.  I’m sharing this because if you’re not to the point where you don’t let the material things, career, and aesthetics define you…then something is coming to shake everything.

There’s a poem called “Ego Tripping (there may be a reason why” by Nikki Giovanni;  I try to remain humble, but man does this poem make me smile.
I was born in the congo
I walked to the fertile crescent and built
the sphinx
I designed a pyramid so tough that a star
that only glows every one hundred years falls
into the center giving divine perfect light
I am bad

I sat on the throne
drinking nectar with allah
I got hot and sent an ice age to europe
to cool my thirst
My oldest daughter is nefertiti
the tears from my birth pains
created the nile
I am a beautiful woman

I gazed on the forest and burned
out the sahara desert
with a packet of goat’s meat
and a change of clothes
I crossed it in two hours
I am a gazelle so swift
so swift you can’t catch me

For a birthday present when he was three
I gave my son hannibal an elephant
He gave me rome for mother’s day
My strength flows ever on

My son noah built new/ark and
I stood proudly at the helm
as we sailed on a soft summer day
I turned myself into myself and was
jesus
men intone my loving name
All praises All praises
I am the one who would save

I sowed diamonds in my back yard
My bowels deliver uranium
the filings from my fingernails are
semi-precious jewels
On a trip north
I caught a cold and blew
My nose giving oil to the arab world
I am so hip even my errors are correct
I sailed west to reach east and had to round off
the earth as I went
The hair from my head thinned and gold was laid
across three continents

I am so perfect so divine so ethereal so surreal
I cannot be comprehended except by my permission

I mean…I…can fly
like a bird in the sky…

What’s Wilder up to?

So I was getting dressed this morning and admiring my body when I began to realize……

In society we are obsessed with thinness and this idea of perfection when in all actuality the idea or thought of even trying to achieve it is simply a waste of our times.

I look at it like this:

“All of my body imperfections make me who I am.

Every stretch marks,blemish, and bruise adds personality to what I call uniquely my body.

Its my zebra print. Its my style. Its what makes me…..me.

I love my body.

Start loving yours.”

It seems like another quote for the books like “getting sexy or groove back,” but for Leakes, many unhappy people, and myself it’s not.  Maybe it’s a good thing if it becomes a trending topic on Twitter or some motivation quote to used in commercials.   If it this gets marketed, I want my cut.

Anyway,  I read an article on this month’s topic in March 2011 issue of Essence Magazine.

As I flipped toward the end of the magazine I came across the piece titled, “The Happiness Quest.”  Now, I’ve been on this quest for a minute, but this made me smile as I agreed with a few of the the ideas that I practice:

• Turning off the television.  Don’t live through these people, go do something.
• Surrounding thyself with happy people.
• Be optimistic.   Even pretend and you’ll start to believe it.
• Stop complaining, but it’s OK to vent.

I suggest if you need a bit of help figuring that out then this a nice little guide without having to hide in the “self help” section of the bookstore.

Going back to Leakes, it feels like a fictional character in a book who is going through hard time, but she’s real right on the screen into my living room.  You see the turmoil in her marriage and her spark begins to fade.  I don’t know this woman from a can of paint, but I definitely feel for her.  Honestly, I think a lot of her blowups are attributed to her stress.  I remember an episode where she was in bed and a friend who’s not a member of the cast came by.  Leakes said something on the lines of not wanting to see anyone or do anything.  I thought to myself that this woman needs to run towards happiness, now.

Everything you want in life requires work, period, even your peace.  When you really want something you’ll do everything in your power to get it.  Let the people, the job, the house, or even a coat* go just so you can find that place of joy.

A few days prior to writing this installment I listened to a song, “Dog Days Are Over,” by Florence + the Machine.  It talks about how the rough times are over, but run from happiness because the end result will be unhappiness again.  That’s life and everything is temporary though some periods last longer than others.

Point blank you have to want it and not be afraid of getting hurt because that’s the inevitable.  If you push for happiness the days of your life then disappointment will be taken like a grain of salt.  I had to reevaluate my reason for being in Chicago for the umpteenth time, it’s silly really.   I came here to start my life and what comes next is in my hands.

I didn’t make it home for the 2010 holiday season. Naturally, I was pretty bummed then I had a pretty sweet Christmas and peaceful New Year’s Eve.

I’m glad it’s 2011 because I’ve looked back on previous posts, diary entries, and revisited (entirely too often) past feelings of hurt and frustration, I was getting a little pathetic. I intend to leave everything good and bad in last year. I really did take away a lot and realized that I need to just let go, I deserve it. With that said, I’m taking this year to move forward and focus on things that make me happy.

My life isn’t about entertaining people even though I’m glad you do read my sometimes “Debbie Downer” life lessons. If I have issues with something it’s up to me to change it.

I’ll be home for Valentine’s Day weekend. The husband of one of my closest friends is throwing a huge birthday party for her. It’ll be wonderful to come home for a celebration of a person who radiates so much joy. Not too mention it’s the perfect holiday to go home in a cheesy sort of way. I’m not big on Valentine’s Day not because of my singledom, but the commercialization of love. This year it has a bit of depth (just the coincidence of it all) because I’ll get to see my family and be amongst friends who know me well.

I’m glad to say that I’ve gotten over this lonely streak; it’s simply a part of life. If I continue to do things that I enjoy and pull the reins for my happiness then everything else will fall into place. No one ever told me I would be alone, but I was always told to find my happiness and love. All of the wonderful things in life start within.

All there is, is this moment.
Love emerges from the shadows
Flowing, floating in the wind,
In the moment, it is created.

Like a gush of wind forms
From the unknown swirling,
Births a dancing funnel across the lands,
Love is born from a gush of your own creation.

From an unknown place
Within your hearts belonging,
It forms, slowly evolving.

Out of nowhere, it is there.
As quickly as it forms, it’s gone
Disappearing in thin air.

Only in this very moment is it created.
As your mind dreams life’s romances
In the shadows of passionate desires,
It, ahhhhhhh, sweet innocence,
LOVE IS made real.

Lisa Thomas provides Life Coaching For Women. Her mission is empowering women worldwide.

Lisa  is a Vision and Leadership Support Coach, Visionary for Women, Life Coach for NBC’s My Carolina Today and Inspirational Speaker. For more information about this segment or a 60 min Power Session, contact Lisa at 910 221 9294 or 704 909 7663. Visit the website at http://www.TheP3Group.com.

For media inquiries or speaking engagements, contact Annika Murray at 678 807 9486.

The month of February seems to bring most people into the presence of love because Valentine’s day is around the corner. I’ve often wondered why it is such a big deal now rather than just a natural part of our lives. I’m sure there is some historical monumental moment that has generated such buzz for a holiday and there was a decision made to have it be celebrated yearly. However love is such an emotion that deserves full recognition throughout the year, don’t you think?

Imagine simply showing love on February 14th and not fully engaging or being present any other time of year – wouldn’t those you love miss the depth of meaning they are to you?

My husband, Jonn and I have been married now for 16 years. This year we embark on 17 and it has been an amazing journey being with such a caring, thoughtful individual. I think I grow fonder of him as the years go by. In the early years, I’d say being in love was certainly an experience we both felt, however amazingly over the years our relationship has grown beyond being in love. There’s a deep profound kind of friendship that has been born as well. I truly can’t think of a better friend than him. His commitment to me and my work/vision is unwavering and mine to his the same.

We’ve worked very diligently at having our relationship be one of loyalty, support, commitment and kindness. I’m shocked when I hear couples say they don’t talk or they talk at each other. I sit and wonder exactly  how that works. I couldn’t imagine being in a relationship where we had unresolved issues, felt afraid to broach a subject or skipping around to ensure no one’s feathers were ruffled, but unfortunately some people do. It’s like hoping issues will resolve themselves without your input.

Most end in divorce because they are fairly positional about who’s right and who’s wrong.  No war was ever resolved with both parties on a position unwilling to be open for a discussion.

In light of our heart beating month of love, I’d like to offer our power, passion and purpose for staying together and keeping love alive throughout the year.

First, we have purpose:  We both know who we are individually and who we are as a couple. Jonn has a vision that everyone has what they need to be who they are. My personal vision is “every woman lives a life of power, passion and dreams come true”. Collectively we are a “beacon for spiritual and financial prosperity creating wealth for generations to come.”  Purpose drives us to be great to each other and for each other. Purpose drives our relationship to be great. Greatness exemplifies our collective vision.

Next, we have passion:  Individually and collectively we have a passion for making a difference in the lives of others.  Our desire and passion drives us to make the difference for others and also for ourselves. Each conversation we have is filled with passionate desire to be better than we were when we entered the dialogue. Passion drives successful communication leaving no stone unturned.

Finally, we have power: Personal power lies in choice. We choose life as it is presented. We choose to love each other in moments when it seems impossible. We choose to live life powerfully through the challenges. We choose each other and all that comes with the choice. We accept each other for who we are and who we’re not. The power of having an extraordinary juicy and incredible relationship lies in choice. Love exists in the moment you create it to be there. And we create it as a practice.

Give it a try yourself. Power, Passion and Purpose in every relationship is worth having. It brings more love to you when you choose to create it. Let’s celebrate this heart beating month of love with choice, shall we?

Lisa Thomas provides Life Coaching For Women. Her mission is empowering women worldwide.

Lisa  is the President and CEO of The P3 Group, Inc, Vision and Leadership Support Coach and Visionary for Women. Featured on NBC’s My Carolina Today, Charlotte Today, World Puja Network, Dr. Pat Show and Conscious Talk Radio. For more information about this segment or a 60 min Power Session, contact Lisa at 910 221 9294 or 704 909 7663. Visit the website at http://www.TheP3Group.com.

For media inquiries or speaking engagements, contact Annika Murray at 678 807 9486.

It was a cold winter day when I had the chance to sit and talk with P3 Pearl Eleanor LeCain.

I felt a kindred spirit in Eleanor as I listened to her passion for others. She is one of the world’s most precious gems in my book. I was particularly intrigued by the quiet presence she exuded and couldn’t wait to hear her story and how she came upon writing the book – Breakthrough Solutions.

Eleanor is celebrating her 25th anniversary this month so her vision of “love made visible” seemed befitting for the month of February, our month of love.  Little did I know Eleanor’s purpose for life and the foundation for her book is the same.  Wow, can you see why I was intrigued?  Eleanor says “by coming from a place of love, we create exceptional solutions in relationships, education, prosperity and more”.

During this candid talk with her I learned a few things myself but what struck me most was how she described breakdowns paving the way for breakthrough, for you and for our society.

Eleanor’s story is one we all can relate to; mother, wife, community leader, speaker and business woman. Multiple roles with one big vision. How does one create it all and have it work? Take a few moments and get an inside peek into an amazing woman’s journey of breakthroughs through breakdowns and how she has manifested some of the greatest of solutions for all parts of life.

Hear her share two of her favorite quotes, best advice for women wanting more for themselves and the most important thing to keep alive when life throws you a curve ball you don’t expect.

Inevitably when you “Break Through, You Break Free” and Eleanor is the epitome of that mantra!

Enjoy….

Lisa Thomas provides Life Coaching For Women. Her mission is empowering women worldwide.

Lisa  is the President and CEO of The P3 Group, Inc, Vision and Leadership Support Coach and Visionary for Women. Featured on NBC’s My Carolina Today, Charlotte Today, World Puja Network, Dr. Pat Show and Conscious Talk Radio. For more information about this segment or a 60 min Power Session, contact Lisa at 910 221 9294 or 704 909 7663. Visit the website at http://www.TheP3Group.com.

For media inquiries or speaking engagements, contact Annika Murray at 678 807 9486.

Eleanor LeCain is a dynamic speaker who gives people hope and inspiration, helping them understand what is happening now, and what we can do to improve our lives and build a new world.  With over 20 years experience in finding and communicating breakthrough solutions in a variety of fields, Ms. LeCain is an expert in social innovation. Understanding that women are vital for needed changes, she draws on her expertise in women’s leadership to offer seminars and retreats for women. She speaks about leadership and social innovation to emerging and established leaders around the world from Harvard University to Kyoto, Japan, Oslo, Norway, and Penang, Malaysia among others.

Ms. LeCain’s articles have been published widely from the New York Times to the Boston Business Journal to Le Monde in Paris, France. She profiles breakthrough solutions – in green jobs, education, parenting, crime, marriage, conflict transformation, health, philanthropy, and ending poverty – in her new book, Breakthrough Solutions: How to Improve Your Life and Change the World by Building on What Works. The Introduction is written by His Holiness the Dalai Lama. She has been a guest commentator on numerous radio and television networks.

As a consultant, Ms. LeCain shows organizational and government leaders the transformational programs, people and principles that can improve results, save money, and strengthen communities. Drawing on her expertise in social innovation, Ms. LeCain expands the capacity of organizations and communities to see new possibilities and increase effectiveness by understanding the opportunities in this historic moment and by learning from breakthrough solutions.

Ms. LeCain is currently President of NewWayUSA, dedicated to improving lives by identifying and building on breakthrough solutions. She brings fresh perspectives that enable people and organizations to see new opportunities, improve relationships, strengthen leadership and generate new streams of revenue.  She draws on her twenty years of research and experience in social innovation, and her wide network of colleagues with expertise in the best of what’s working in their fields.

As Executive Director of Blueprint 2000, Ms. LeCain was hired by the Massachusetts state government to create a strategic plan for the future of the Commonwealth that addressed every area of public policy. She also served as the Massachusetts Assistant Secretary of State.  Ms. LeCain served as an adviser to the Kyoto Businessman’s Association in Japan on opportunities in environmental business.  The National Committee on Responsive Philanthropy hired her as a strategic planner for their organization addressing the field of philanthropy and strategic giving. In 2003, Ms. LeCain designed and led a leadership seminar for women in Afghanistan, sponsored by Eve Ensler and the V-Day Campaign to End Violence Against Women and Girls. She is the founding President of Women of Vision and Action, an international network of spiritually aware women taking action for a better world.

Ms. LeCain earned a degree in Economics from Yale University, and a degree in Law and Social Policy from the University of California Boalt Law School.  She lives in Washington, DC with her husband and daughter. To enroll Ms. LeCain as a speaker or consultant for your organization, email Team@newwayusa.com.